It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize