Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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