How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize