i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
