WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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