I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
