put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Someone signed my nipple.
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