I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
