We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
