just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
