dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
