Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
