Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
