didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
