i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
