how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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