I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
