what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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