This is not my ceiling
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
