I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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