she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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