It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize