this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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