Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
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