i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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