Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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