I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So many bounce houses so little time
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
