Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
