3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize