I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize