what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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