i barfeds in our rink
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
