Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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