loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
