Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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