This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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