Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
