i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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