why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
