A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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