Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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