3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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