ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
