haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
