I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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