It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you win again, gameday.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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