that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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