I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
