She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
