So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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