i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
