forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
