So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
