Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
