Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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