And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
