some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
