The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize