yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
