I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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