Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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