a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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