so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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