You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
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I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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