Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
